c l i m b i n g i v o r y
A little blog of Catholic wifehood, motherhood & dreams
Here I am, returning punctually as promised, for better or worse . . .
Once I made my commitment last week to write something here every Wednesday, I immediately started wondering . . . well, what exactly am I going to write about? Not in the sense of someone gleefully cracking their fingers over a keyboard about to receive fevered pulses of genius. Rather, in the sense of blankness. And so I started scrolling my old blogs. My eyes skimmed over so many posts from a lifetime ago. Entries written by a single girl, a young engaged girl, a young woman pregnant with her first baby. Words really poured out of me then. Words upon words. (Probably too many words. Ay yi yi.) So passionate about everything, amply loquacious, always bent on humor, and fertilized by nearly unlimited uninterrupted time. (. . .intermission while I settle my darling male offspring for the fifth time in bed…) And it’s really been so long since I’ve written consistently about anything–years, literally–that this (the relationship to my writing, I suppose) all feels like a rusty tool in my hands from which I’m blowing off dust and tapping away the cobwebs. Of course I’m the same person. But I’m also absolutely not the same. Perhaps this year above all others, I exited the chapter of being a youngster passionate about the head-knowledge of life and how it should be lived faithfully, and was thrown headlong into the living of it, which honestly has been peppered (doused) with things like stagnation, slow growth, intense suffering, conversion, repeated ad infinitum. And that just changes you. Everything I knew and was comfortable in had to be soundly rocked, shattered even, by the trials and purifications of marriage, motherhood, spiritual journeying–and the pieces put together by Jesus alone. I was taught what I had always “known” - everything is for Him. All things are sustained only by Him. In Him alone does suffering make sense - it is through Him, with Him, in Him. So how do you even start writing anything again, when you’ve been awed, humbled, broken, and silenced before the Renewer? Well, you start by writing about housekeeping, naturally. (So see, I haven’t really changed much at all!) We’ve been in a good little spurt of orderliness this week, I’m happy to say. It always helps when things aren’t chaotic and I’m not flying around outside the home (in fact, I’m realizing it’s vital, or at least that in a busy season I can’t have both, or at the very least that I have more things to learn in order to narrow the gap between tidy-quiet-week-life and busy-messy-week-laundry-standstill-life). So I’m already prepared for things to hit the fan with next week being Thanksgiving. Both our families are local and Thanksgiving for us (thanks to some really wonderful traditions that I genuinely love) means four solid days of festivities which include sleepovers. The kids will have a blast and we’ll return to our (hopefully tidy…) domain deliriously exhausted but happy. (And is anyone else deeply, abysmally, profoundly relieved there is an extra week between Thanksgiving and the start of Advent this year? I can barely keep up and this week will be my saving grace to hopefully accomplish our yearly goal of completing all Christmas shopping and Advent preparations before the First Sunday.) But I digress. The whole point of embarking on this topic was to give myself a chance to write down some habits that have been really working for me in the hopes that I’ll kind of figure out which ones to prioritize during the busier upcoming season . . .
Until next Wednesday!
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MaryWife to my best friend. Mama to a gregarious 3yo boy, a determined 18mo daughter, a darling baby boy due in late July, and a miscarried child we gave back to God. (photos are from Unsplash unless I note they're mine :)
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